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The Secret Behind How to Influence People

Have you ever questioned what successful people have in common? Why can some people go into a meeting and come out with exactly what they want? The answer lies in understanding how to influence people.
Think about the last time you were trying to influence someone. Perhaps, you might be requesting a raise from your boss or getting a client to sign on with your company. Whatever the situation, there are a few actions you can take to increase your influence on others.
And so, in this blog post, we'll explore 11 of those secrets, and you'll learn about:
  • How to effectively influence people.
  • How to gain the other's respect and trust.
  • How to win friends and influence people.

Give Others an Honest and Sincere Appreciation

Positive reinforcement yields incredible results. And no one is more aware of this than those who have given others an honest and sincere appreciation.
It does wonders for self-esteem and makes a person happy. It also has the potential to win friends and influence people in the direction of an idea.
Expressing an honest appreciation for another person's efforts assures them that you value their work. At its essence, sincere praise is a powerful way to influence people in an emotionally supportive manner.
Here are some tips on showing genuine appreciation to win a person's heart.
  • Tell the person why you appreciate them. Doing so will make them feel confident that the recognition is genuine and has substance.
  • Be specific about what the person did or said to win your appreciation. Speaking in generalities may not leave any lasting impact on the recipient.
  • Focus on the individual's strengths. Don't praise their weaknesses or issues they may need improvement in. Doing so will only demoralize and discourage them.
  • Explain how they made a difference. Tell how their action improved things. Or say how their idea was instrumental in solving a problem.
  • Use words that show you recognize their effort. Use phrases such as 'you deserve it' or 'good job' can go a long way in honoring someone for their hard work.
  • Provide physical proof of your esteem. For instance, reward someone with an experience instead of monetary value.

Understand the Other Person's Interests

To be friends and influence people, it's essential to understand the other person's interests. Taking a genuine interest in someone else's interests is a great starting point.
Understanding their specific interests opens up your communications and fosters better relationships. It also gives you more opportunities to relate with each other and provide relevant feedback.
Plus, you can better tailor conversations by knowing what they find interesting. Likewise, it builds trust with that person and makes them more open to what you have to say.
And this way, you come off as genuinely interested in someone else rather than just trying to win their approval. On top of that, being keenly aware of human nature, you can understand their interests. Some tips to help make understanding others easier include the following:

Tip #1: Pay attention to what they say

Often, people don't pay enough attention to what the other person has to say. Yet, listening will give you clues about their interests.
Plus, it will show them that you're interested in what they say. Remember, everybody likes to feel heard.

Tip #2: Ask questions

Along the same lines, getting to know someone's interests better involves asking questions. And again, it shows that you care about hearing their answers. Just ensure you only ask a few questions in a row, or you'll risk coming across as interrogating them.

Tip #3: Read between the lines

Sometimes, people aren't entirely honest about their interests for fear of sounding selfish. In these cases, it's important to read between the lines and figure out what they're after.

Acknowledge Your Own Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes; some people try to hide them. Is there anything more humbling than acknowledging and owning up to our own mistakes?
Remember, a genuinely interested person can separate their ego and take responsibility. And that kind of attitude goes a long way toward influencing others around them.
After all, "the first one to admit they're wrong is the smartest of them all." Plus, being honest about making mistakes can permit those around you to do the same.
Acknowledging your mistakes shows respect for another person's pride. It conveys that you understand the importance of apologizing and taking ownership of your actions.
Also, according to Dale Carnegie, there are five simple steps one can take to recognize and learn from errors, such as:
1. Accept responsibility and try not to pass the blame onto others or make excuses.
2. Analyze what went wrong and when to halt future mess-ups before they happen.
3. Take ownership by admitting your errors.
4. Figure out how you can fix the situation and prevent similar mistakes in the future.
5. Move forward confidently through any adjustments needed to improve upon your mistakes.

Be a Good Role Model and Leader

Becoming a successful leader and role model can have a powerful impact on the world, just like these great figures in the aftermath of World War II:
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • General Dwight D. Eisenhower
Interestingly, most famous people never set out to become role models, yet they have unparalleled influence. Perhaps, it may be because of their leadership skill.
Having good leadership characteristics can help others feel motivated to take up challenges. Plus, it can encourage them to do tasks they wouldn't normally do.
Even something as simple as complimenting someone when a person feels inferior can make all the difference in the world.
And Dale Carnegie once said, "If you want to be influential in your life and surroundings, start by being a person of positive energy." Besides that, Dale Carnegie, the writer of 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' gives some characteristics of a good leader, such as:


  • Passionate
  • Decisive
  • Confident
  • Optimistic
  • Humble


  • Passion is contagious. If you're passionate about your work, your team will be passionate about their work too. Also, to motivate people around them to do the same, effective leaders put their all into what they do.
  • They have a goal in mind and work toward it. They don't let indecision or doubt hold them back from achieving their goals.
  • Confidence is vital when it comes to leadership. If you're not confident in yourself, your team will never be confident in you, either. And good leader believes in themselves and their abilities, even when times are tough.
  • Optimism is another quality that's essential for any good leader. It's easy to be pessimistic when things aren't going your way. But a good leader knows that optimism is key to maintaining motivation levels within their team. By remaining positive, a good leader can help their team push through tough times and become stronger on the other side.
  • A humble leader knows that they don't have all the answers. But they are also aware that success does not require having all the solutions. They surround themselves with intelligent people who can help them make informed decisions.


As an average person, you may think that influencing others is a power or privilege only reserved for important people. But the truth is that everyone can learn how to do it.
The key to successfully influencing someone is understanding the tips covered in this article. You can become more persuasive and influential by considering these key elements in your everyday dealings.
© 2023 B2B Leaders Academy. All Rights Reserved.
© 2023 B2B Leaders Academy. All Rights Reserved.